After allegedly posting her farewell note to social media, a Southern University and A&M College (SU), student was found dead in the Mississippi River, after her family became concerned over her whereabouts.
Miller, whose age has not been disclosed, attended an HBCU college in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
The Southern University Jaguars cheerleader shared a lengthy message that worried her family and friends on her Instagram account.
In the post that has now accumulated over 65,000 likes, Miller spoke about alleged suicidal thoughts during her younger years and how long she has fought the urges.
“May this day bring me rest and peace,” Miller wrote. “I have fought this urge since my early teenage years.. I gave this life all the fight I had. To everyone who has entered my life I’m so grateful and I can only imagine how this may find you. I have been surrounded by people who may have honestly thought that I was okay, but I havnt been okay for a while.”
The college student then reflects on dealing with Covid, suffering from an injury and feeling alone most of the time.
“I struggled so much through just this year alone. From covid, to tearing my acl, to nearly failing all of my classes,” Miller wrote. “To the people in my life I pray you learn to vocalize your feelings and get help always!!! I failed at that and I’m afraid it’s to late.”
Miller then talks directly to her mother, who she thanks and reassures her that she is at peace and acknowledges that she had written suicidal notes before, but she was at her breaking point this time.
“MOM, THANK YOU SO MUCH, I pray you know I’m at rest now! You would’ve given anything to see me happy, you have given everything to see me happy,” Miller wrote. “I’m happy in the water where everything is still and peaceful. I have written so many suicide notes in my life but finally, I’ve reached my end.”
She wrote that she hoped that this would teach people to check on their “strong” friends and always be present. Miller said that she felt like she was letting so many people down and losing her connection to God.
“I hope this teaches everyone to check on your “strong” friends, be present always! I’m contradicting myself but NEVER give up!!! I know that I’m letting a lot people down by what I’m about to do,” Miller wrote. “But… truth is I’ve already let down so many people throughout my life and it just feels unbearable. I’ve lost my connection to God. The devil seems to have won. & that is okay, I blame no one for this!”
She concluded her post by apologizing to all of her family and friends, revealing that she has tried to make everyone in her life happy. While she loved everyone in her life, she had had enough fighting and hoped that those close to her found peace in her decision.
“I thank everyone for all they’ve done & IM SORRY IM SO SO SORRY. But thinking about how everyone else would feel about my death is not enough either, I’ve tried to please and make everyone else happy my entire life. I’ve been dead inside for too long. To everyone I love, just remember that this is not your fault and I pray you don’t find guilt in my situation,” Miller wrote. “To my grandad… I wish you were here to tell me I’m being stupid, to tell me it’s not worth it, but you’ve left me & found your own peace.”
“I’ve always been stubborn and prideful just like you,” she continued. “I always dreamed of becoming so many things that I am today, but they just aren’t enough. I’m not enough. I havnt felt enough for a while.. but I say all this to say, I’m done fighting. My battle is over and I pray everyone finds peace in that.”
The Southern University and A&M college released a statement via Twitter expressing their deepest sorrows for Miller’s untimely passing, noting that she was a Texas native and majoring in agriculture.
“Our entire campus community is deeply saddened by the untimely death of Arlana Miller, a freshman who was majoring in agriculture on the Baton Rouge campus,” the tweet read. “Arlana was a native of Texas and one of our Southern University cheerleaders.”
The school offers its sincerest condolences to Miller’s family, friends, and others and provides counseling for those who may need extra support during this dark time.
“We offer our sincerest prayers and condolences to her family, classmates, teammates, and all who knew and loved her. The mental and physical well-being of our students is one of the University’s highest priorities,” the tweet read. “therefore, our University Counseling Center (UCC) and partners are available for any students who may need support during this difficult time.”
The Southern University Jaguars tweeted their condolences to Miller and her family, the SU cheerleading squad, and her friends. The school also mentions offering grief counseling to anyone in need.
“Jaguar Nation, We mourn the loss of Arlana Miller, a Freshman Southern University Cheerleader,” the tweet read. “We ask for your prayers, love, and support. Our deepest sympathy to The Miller family, SU Cheer, & friends. We love you Arlana #ForeverJag Grief counseling is available.”
Many people who have been affected by Miller’s story have shared their feelings concerning her alleged suicide and encourage people to seek assistance and help those who need a helping hand.
A Facebook user named Dria Derricho spoke out on Miller’s death, encouraging others to check up on people and make sure that they know that you support them and love them. It is unclear whether Derricho knew Miller personally.
“I hate reading things like this, it’s so sad to think or even read about! To anyone battling with these issues. These temporary feelings never last it will get better. Continue to fight and push through BETTER DAYS ARE COMING!!!! I don’t think I can sleep after this,” Derricho wrote. “SUICIDE IS AT AN ALL TIME HIGH!!!!! YALL BETTER WAKE TF UP! PLEASE DON’T JUST CHECK UP ON PEOPLE BUT BE THERE FOR THEM, LOVE THEM, SUPPORT THEM, & HELP THEM! ALL THE TIME NOT JUST TEMPORARILY! I JUST WISH I COULD’VE HELPED IN SOME KIND OF WAY ! Rip Arlana Miller #su #mentalhealthmatters #arlanamiller”
If you or someone you know is suffering from depression or suicidal urges, there are ways to get help. You can use these resources to find help for yourself, a family member, or a friend.
Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255); En español 1-888-628-9454